WEEK 2: LESSONS FROM A FATHER ON A FOOTBALL FRIDAY NIGHT

Here we go–week two. Many have suggested that I take a guest coach with me. Who better to be the first one than my first coach, my father, Gaetano Mascolo. I was his second-round pick, however I was a steal (being a high motor guy and all).

I drove to Newtown to pick him up. The man who first put me on the football field was now my first quest on Traveling Coach. It was an overcast day with some rain falling. We talked about the country music that was on the radio. I have a new car and I still don’t know what half the buttons do, so we stuck with it. We talked about sports and his reasoning for signing me up for football when I was young. He looked at his phone a little bit because it was a Friday and anyone who knows my Dad knows he is always trying to get a deal done.

We arrived at our first destination after the forty-minute drive. Fiddler’s Green Pub that was located within a shopping center in Carmel, NY. Fiddlers is a classic Irish dive bar–wood tables, dimly lit, and the bar area was lined with regulars. We were told we could sit anywhere; So we sat at a table. I noticed a sign saying they didn’t accept credit cards. In my mind I immediately thought these wings better be good enough to be a couple days delinquent on the mortgage this month. The waitress came over took our drink order. We each ordered a beer (Coors Light & Smithwicks) a lot of their taps were not working, so dad could not get a Stella. We got our beers and were ready to order. Dad ordered some fried zucchini and a salad with spicy chicken. The man always stays healthy and is probably why the only thing that is old about him are his jokes. I ordered mild wings and they wouldn’t do a split order which is not a good strategy. I don’t believe it’s a crazy request and allows you to try two flavors and most likely (in my case) will make your order more wings. None the less the I ordered 10 mild wings. On the menu wings are not their main item. At Fiddlers wings are more of a role player. While we waited we talked NFL football and how we are excited about the upcoming season. The conversation then turned to teams we would follow if the Giants didn’t exist (Me: Bears – Dad: Steelers) and about Andrew Luck’s retirement from the NFL.

Our food came and the wings looked good. They came in a basket with a bowl over them for the bones. First bite…Crispy. That great first crunch that can set the tempo for the rest of the basket. Like the great Hit on the opening kickoff that sets the tempo for the rest of the game. However, the wings need some more sauce. I needed a thicker coat. They came with blue cheese and celery, which if you’re reading this Mom I did eat all my celery. I finished the 10 and could have eaten more. However, I erred on the side of caution. These wings, like last week’s wings, are a solid 3-star recruit. However, they are a different type of player. Often when you get deep into a coaches’ meeting about players I almost wish I could combine a player’s speed with another player’s strength to create a better athlete. In this case I wish I could’ve combined last week’s sauce with this week’s crisp. We could always dream. After we finished I went to the ATM and a one-man band started playing Irish music Wild Rover came on and when they hit the lyrics, “no,nay,never” I heard clapping that I heard so many times before. Whether it was at Giants games or showing off his sick 70’s dance moves that clap will forever echo in my brain. I think if we didn’t have a game to go to, my Dad may still be there singing When Irish Eyes Are Smiling in a Brooklyn-Italian accent.”

After our meal is was a 5-minute trip to Carmel High School for this week 2 Matchup. I hadn’t seen a game At Carmel high school since 2002. That’s when I went with Sean Mahon (whom I coached with for 10 of my 18 years) to watch his Brother Jeff play QB. A era that was dubbed Jeff-mania by Sean who noticed how the entire family including family members he didn’t even know came to all his games. My father and I, who have seen many games together, were now both in the stands for Friday night football. We pulled into the parking lot a half hour before kickoff. It was an early arriving crowd and the place was packed. The Atmosphere on the campus had a buzz to it. The kind of buzz you get from two opponents that are familiar with each other. John Jay High School defeated Carmel 17-9 in last years hard fought match-up. These are the Moments I am going to miss as a coach: Friday night, opening night, the anticipation of seeing the fruits of your labor. The aspect of coaching I love the most is game week preparation. I can’t get that from reading a couple of newspaper articles. Its just a experience you cant duplicate.

It was 60 degrees with a slight drizzle. The game had more of an early November feel you that you could smell it in the air. The Carmel fans where decked out in Red, white and blue American flag apparel. My father and I were immediately impressed by the patriotic enthusiasm of the Carmel Fans waving flags and chanting USA. We took our place scoreboard side in the upper left hand corner of the stands. Both teams had very fiery breakdown after their warm ups and headed to their respective locker rooms. My Dad never had the chance as a youth to play high school football or any sports in high school for that matter. His father did not see the value in sports. He instead emphasized more the value of a hard days work. This was the mindset of an immigrant who came to this country to build a better life for his family. As we watched the kids go back to the locker my father asked me, “when you where coaching what would you be doing right now”. I thought for a second, I thought about how this is the worst time for both player and coach. That 7 or 8 minutes before kickoff which seemed like 3 hours. I told my Dad during this period you can sometimes over coach a kid. I used to leave them to stay focused on the game and usually talk with other coaches about who was not playing for the opponent, and what they were running in warm ups. Thinking about the game this particular week I thought a lot about the lessons I learned from my father that can be directly attributed to being a successful football coach and player.

What you get out of anything is directly related to the effort you put in.

I remember going into my senior year and my father commenting on if I wanted to be the best linebacker I could be I had to run sideline to sideline with relentless pursuit. That was the only time I could ever remember him commenting on my play and it was as true a statement as I had ever heard. This was never more evident in the game Friday night. Both defenses pursued the ball defensively with great discipline and heart. You could tell both Carmel and John Jay High coaches empathized fundamental tackling and defensive football in both their programs. When I was coaching and the players executed a defensive game plan like this there was nothing more satisfying. Even now as a spectator I was proud of the way both teams played defense.

I am not your friend I’m your father. 

This was a lesson he taught, and I had to learn the hard way. Of course, I never knew what it meant until I became a father. It was a level of respect that was above friendship that he expected from me and my brothers. It is the same respect that you establish as a coach with your players. In coaching, especially now, every kid learns differently. Some players thrive off being coached sternly and others need you to throw an arm over their shoulder and reassure them of their goals. It’s one of the hardest things to be aware of as a coach today but also the most valuable. It builds trust. These kids have plenty of friends they need coaches and parents.

Selflessness

My father never told me about this but has always been an example of this trait in his actions. I have seen his work within his community with the Special Olympics and the Caroline’s Toy Chest. In fact, Friday morning I picked him up at 6:30 so we could feed the homeless and needy in Bridgeport, CT. Both of my parents inspire me to give back as much as I can. This was never more evident in the play of the Defensive and offensive lines last night. Carmel is led up front 6-4 275 Noah Wahl, and fellow senior Gianluca Piccolino. John Jay gave no room to run up the middle led by a pair of 300 pound seniors Joseph Griggs, and Anthony Matoski. Playing the offensive and defensive lines your sole purpose is to do your job to the best of your ability for the benefit of other individuals. These boys and their teammates battled all night in the trenches neither wanting to give an inch. The best ones I have seen play have a selfless mentality for the success of the team.

When you start something, you must finish it. 

That philosophy was always been attributed to anything. Whether it was sports, college, or an everyday task finishing the job was the goal. Of course, watching the game Friday night in the final 1:38 Luke Mahon the star running back and safety for John Jay, finished the game…..twice. Mahon intercepted 2 passes in the end zone to thwart Carmel threats to tie and win the game. A big time player, making big time plays, in a big time game.

The game was over, John Jay had won 14-9. My father and I worked our way thru a busy parking lot and sat in the car for a while. We talked about games similar to this one that we had witnessed over the years. Tough hard-fought football games that can be agonizing in defeat and euphoric in victory. Not a bad night with the man who never played a down but never let me down.

Another great night Family, Food, and Football.

Back on the road next week to Rutgers University

Game: IMG Academy vs. St. Joseph’s prep at SHI STADIUM 7pm 

Grub: Gabriele’s Bar & Grill