WEEK 3 : FRIENDSHIP FORGED FROM THE FOOTBALL FIELD.

Friday morning. Seventy-two degrees. It is a little overcast while I am driving down the Jersey Turnpike. My brother, John, and I have a rule: if you hit the Jersey Turnpike or the Garden State Parkway and you’re not listening to Springsteen, then you’re not really in Jersey yet. So, I was accompanied by “Thunder Road” and “The Promise Land” as I made my way towards Gabrielle’s Bar and Grille in Piscataway. I had to call an audible this week because the venue for the game was changed from Widener University to Rutgers. Thanks to Joe Bouffard for letting me know or I would still be at Widener waiting for the game to start. I made a slight detour to Warminster, Pennsylvania to pick up this weeks “wingman” my oldest friend, Joe Burgy. I met Joe in the fourth grade — Sister Hannah’s class at St. Joseph’s/St. Roberts grammar school — when he moved from Allentown, PA. However, we didn’t really become friends until our first year playing football with the CYO’s Buxmont Saints. He became my first friend in football. That first year we used to bust each other’s chops. He wore the ugliest jersey number for a backup Guard (37) and I let him know that every chance I got. I had a habit of combing my hair before practice (Hollywood was my nickname), he had jokes. We had an instant rapport. Joe is one of those friends where you find your face hurting from laughing so hard after you hang out together. We played basketball all summer long – no matter how hot. We played street football in the snow. We played wiffle ball in a place we dubbed The Pit. It was an area right next to a giant storm drain behind my old house in Warrington. The entire time we played we would be commentating as if we were Marv Albert (Knicks and NBA), Merrill Reese (Eagles radio), or Harry Kalas (Phillies radio). As two 5’8” white guys, we would have serious conversations about where we were going to be picked in the NBA draft. In case you were wondering I was going fourth to Golden State which needed a big man and Joe was going ninth to the Suns to be their point guard of the future. When we weren’t providing game highlight commentary, we developed a habit of speaking through movie quotes. We have spent over twenty years perfecting this technique of expressing thoughts and feelings embedded in coded movie one-liners. To this day my wife, Michelle, always says she never knows what the hell we are talking about!

My family moved away in ‘94 when I was in the seventh grade. Joe and I kept in touch through high school and talked on the phone even though neither of our parents were happy about those long-distance phone bills. We’d talk mostly about high school football, obviously in half movie quotes. We lost touch for a while in college; however, after 9/11 Joe decided he would join the Marines following his graduation from King’s College. We wrote letters to each other, where I would talk about coaching football and he would talk about Marine life. In fact, when he finished basic and allowed to go on leave my brother Anthony, Joe’s brother Chuck, and I drove over eight hours through the night to pick him up from Camp Lejeune, only to turn north and drive home. Joe served two combat tours of duty in Babil and Al Anbar, in Central Iraq, and became a highly-decorated Marine. The friendship that was built during those first years of football was so strong that between tours in Iraq he went on leave and drove to Connecticut to be there the day I got married. Fast forward…We have families, jobs, and hectic lives. When I began planning the Traveling Coach adventure I thought what better way to honor the anniversary of 9/11 then to take my first football friend, Marine, and patriot to a ball game under the lights.

“Go the distance.” -Field of Dreams

I pulled up to Joe’s home In Warminster, PA. Joe showed me around his new house and explained some of the projects he’s been working on. Since the only thing I know how to fix is dinner I was thoroughly impressed by my friend’s willingness to tackle these challenges. We got on the road and laughed about some of the same inane sh*t we usually do. We talked about all the players we are going to see tonight who have D1 commitments, and some of the ones that could be on the rise.

As we pulled up to Gabrielle’s Bar and Grille we both thought the same thing.

It kind of looked like a gentleman’s club. I mean I did have to change sports bars at the last minute, but I thought I read the review correctly. The building was black and gray, windows where blacked out, and it was attached to a motel 6. I could be mistaken, but I’ve heard those could be some characteristics of an adult establishment. Much to our relief as we walked in we found out a classic sports bar. We sat ourselves and the waitress was right there with menus and she took our drink order. Despite the place being packed at four on a Friday our beers came quickly, and they were ice cold. I can imagine this place on a football Sunday being an incredible place to watch a game. The bar was a full rectangle with TVs on both the interior of it and wrapped around the outside wall. It was happy hour. There was a table of women cackling over sangrias and people lined the bar talking all topics: work, sports, and otherwise. The waitress returned to take our food order. I ask her what she recommended for wings she told me the buffalo (as is now tradition) and Hennessy BBQ wings. So, I went for a split order of their buffalo and Henny BBQ. The wings arrived quickly and smelt delicious. The meat was tender – almost falling off the bone. The BBQ sauce was Carolina vinegar based; I love that style. The Buffalo was a solid sauce – a 3.5-star recruit who starts as a sophomore at slot receiver but has the potential to be a two-way starter if he gets a little stronger(crispier) as a junior or senior. To continue the analogy, if this wing spent more time in the weight room (Fryer) there is no doubt he’d be a two-way stud. We ordered two older menu items, cheese fries, and something they called “tater kegs.” These were basically loaded baked potato in tater tot form. Both where excellent and probably should constitute my carb intake for the week. These where the best wings so far but my search for the perfect wings rages on…On to the game.

“This is the most beautiful sight these eyes have ever seen.” – Rudy

We hit the road and headed off to SHI stadium at Rutgers University. We arrived about 50 minutes before game time and the St. Joseph Prep faithful were out in full force tailgating. From the time we pulled in we noticed that this wasn’t your typical high school game. When we got out of the car we walked around the stadium and took it all in. Rutgers has great facilities and we were borderline giddy looking around at the stadium and taking pictures. Justifiably, the atmosphere truly had a big game feel. Both teams are nationally ranked. IMG Academy (Bradenton, FL) ranked #4 and St. Joseph’s Prep (Philadelphia, PA) is ranked #11. Both teams are the number one teams in their respective states. The game was featured on ESPN2 deemed “The Rumble on the Raritan.” To say this was a ‘big game’ was an understatement.

We entered the stadium with some comped tickets (thank you again, Joe Bouffard). Both teams where warming up as we started to look for some of the players we had spoken about during the car ride to the bar. Instantly it was clear that these are not your average players. The match up I was most intrigued by was IMG CB Elias Ricks (2020 #1 recruit in FL) vs. St. Joe’s WR Marvin Harrison Jr. (2021 #4 recruit in PA). It was one of those match ups you watch specifically regardless of the play call. As a coach I loved when I could challenge a player specifically with a one-on-one match up in a pivotal game. It makes motivating that player easy for that week. These contests provide the elite player an opportunity to test their skills versus the best the country has to offer. IMG Academy defensive and offensive lines are filled with division-one commits. It looked as if we were watching a college team warm up. The crowd was predominately for St. Joe’s prep. There was a large contingent of alumni, parents, and a student section. There was a sense of comradery and fraternity among the fans as they talked football. During the entire game we heard fathers yell in their raspy, gravely, Philly-accented voices as they rooted for their team. The stage was set as both teams ran out of their respective tunnels ready to battle for National bragging rights. 

“I just want to go the distance” – Rocky 

The first quarter was like in great heavyweight fight where both feel each other out just waiting to throw that big punch for an early knockout. By the second drive the Ricks/Harrison match up already became chippy, drawing an early personal foul penalty on Ricks. They went back and forth the entire game, largely cancelling each other out as the ball stayed away from them for the most part. This opened the chance for other role players to step their game up. Joe noticed this right away and picked out a couple players early who he knew would rise on this stage. He has a good eye for personnel and would make a great coach if he ever pursued an opening. Two guys who elevated their play on the St. Joseph side were WR Shamir Hagans and Ohio State commit Kyle McCord. These two combined to score the game’s first touchdown on an 11-yard bullet from McCord to Hagans. IMG found themselves in a position they never have never been in — playing from behind in the second quarter 6-3.

“I feel the need—the need for speed.” – Top Gun

The lead didn’t last long for St Joe’s Prep. IMG’S Dekel Crowdus took a punt 92 yards to the house to put IMG back in the lead. IMG, who had a lot more depth of talent than The Prep; however, St. Joe’s was the more disciplined team. IMG was more like an all-star team. Joe and I looked at each other and thought aloud that that characteristic could be a killer. The metaphor we use in those types of game situations was that of a “barn was shaking.” The door was shaking and was about to be kicked open -meaning one team had the potential to stampede the other. The score was only 10-6. However, St. Joe’s answered on the ensuing kickoff Shamir Hagans took the ball 99 yards for the score and sent the crowd into a frenzy. The game was 12-10 St. Joseph’s at halftime. 

We sat at the half and speculated as to what both coaches could be saying to their respective teams. I thought if I was on the St. Joseph’s staff I would be urging my team to keep its composure and would remind them that we haven’t seen their best punch yet. Now, if I was in the IMG locker room I might have been a lot more aggressive in tone. IMG had been heavily penalized in the first half mostly for avoidable mistakes (3 personal fouls). IMG lacked discipline and didn’t look like a team.

“It’s not how hard you hit. It’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” – Rocky Balboa

As the second half began, Joe and I thought IMG would come out more focused which they did – scoring 21 points in the third quarter. However, the SJP never yielded. Each time they went down two scores St Joe’s fired back and answered the bell. Even after an IMG end zone interception by OJ Burroughs (7 interceptions in 3 games) stalled a drive the Hawks responded defensively with Jerimiah Trotter, Jr. sacking the QB on a 3rd and 4 to give St. Joe’s the ball back. Kyle McCord hit 3 passes for 58 yards and Kolbe Burrell punched one in with a little under three minutes to go in the game. IMG never gave St Joe’s the ball back. As a coach I always felt you learned from losses. What I learned from this loss is that St Joseph’s Prep is not losing another game this year. They are now battle tested going into league play. 

“I’ll see you around man” “Not if I see you first” –Stand by Me

It makes you wonder how two people who were only friends for three years before moving three hours apart (which when your twelve might as well be across the country) managed to remain friends to this day. I think football bonded us in a way that other aspects of life simply cannot. When you struggle, and you hurt, and your success directly relies on the guys playing next to you it galvanizes relationships. Bill Parcells in his Hall of Fame induction speech called it a “blood kinship.”  A bond that can’t be broken. I know these are characteristics that Joe took with him as a Marine and the same ones I took with me in to coaching.

I truly enjoyed my time at the game with my old friend. We got to watch a great match up of two national powers. We had opportunity to discuss the nuance of the game and how emotions can change a game on a dime – whether a costly penalty or a big play by one of the role players. We talked all game on how the details matter and the way one reacts to adversity makes all the difference. Having those conversations makes not coaching a little more tolerable. We walked through crowd in the parking lot and passed by a large post game tailgate – a victory celebration that would go long into the North Jersey night. In the car we proceeded to laugh and speak in movie code on the way home. I dropped him off at his house and that’s was it.

Another Friday night experience that meant the world to me. I guess Stephen King was right. At the end of Stand By Me he concludes, “You never have friends like you do when you’re twelve.”